Four Months from Inside My World
Four months in hospital
9/11/20262 min read
Still Here, Still Fighting: Four Months from Inside My World
Since the 1st of May, my entire world has been the walls of this hospital room
I may not see the faces around me or hear the sounds of this room in the same way as you all do, but I know this world through touch, warmth, and presence. I feel the steady rhythm of hands holding mine. I feel the vibrations of the room, the sudden tension when things go wrong, and the fierce, steady love that surrounds me even in the dark.
Over these past four months, there have been moments that brought me terrifyingly close to the edge. Times when my body was pushed far past its limits, when alarms were going off, and it took every ounce of strength inside of me just to stay here.
I cannot speak to tell anyone where it hurts, sign to say what I need, or communicate in the ways most people understand. I cant ask for help, but I never have to. My family became my voice, my senses, and my shield.
Mummy and daddy never stop fighting my corner. They know me better than anyone, reading every tiny shift in my breath or movement. In a world of medical charts and critical moments, they are my relentless advocates—speaking up for me, protecting me, and making sure the world sees and hears Lenny, exactly as I am.
Mummy and daddy have not left my side. Every single night since that very first admission all those months ago, daddy has slept right beside me. His "new home" has become a camp bed folded out on the hard hospital floor next to my bed. In the silence and the dark, knowing his hand is right there beside mine is what grounds me and helps me face the next morning.
Then there is my big sister Dollie and my big brother Archie. Their lives have been turned completely upside down. They’ve spent their days navigating hospital visits, sacrificing having their Daddy at home to tuck them into bed at night. They carry so much for such young shoulders, and the pure, gentle love they bring into this room is a powerful part of why I keep holding on.
I may not have words, vision, or hearing as you know it, but love doesn't need any of those things to be felt.
I am still here. I am still fighting. And with Mummy, Daddy, Archie, and Dollie holding me tight, we keep taking on every single day together.